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June 10 Family Reunion 2008It was going to be a different kind of gathering this year, I was so very sure. We had moved the location for a variety of reasons and I just knew that people would use it as an opportunity to break with tradition and either show up extremely late, or not show up at all. Frankly, I wasn't expecting a very large crowd. The group had been dwindling in recent years and we had diminished from a gathering of 50+ to barely 30 in the last couple of years. I thought we might have 20 this year. What a joy to be wrong! We were 42 strong, with one out-of-town caller. Four generations gathered together to celebrate who we are and the places and people from whom we come.
Miners, educators (including one doctorate), a medical doctor and several other medical professionals, information technology experts . . . the variety was as diverse as the people themselves.
The most senior of my father's generation will be 87 this week. We've lost one of my father's sisters, and two brothers-in-law. Each time we gather, their presence is sadly missed.
At the end of our devotional, I took a few minutes to acknowledge, honor and thank the men of my father's generation for their military service. As a family, we are truly blessed. Many families gather several times a year for funerals and other crises. We have chosen to gather in serenity and joy.
It may be only once a year, but it is a gathering that keeps us grounded and in touch. I wish I had taken a few minutes to acknowledge families and individuals so that we can reacquainte (is that really a word?!?) ourselves with each other. Next year, I want to share some old family films and photographs. So if you have something special, be sure and let me know - maybe by Christmas?
I am proud of my heritage, and grateful for the strong gene pool from which I come. I am blessed and privileged to be a daughter of a family that understands and values honor, ethics and caring for one another. Thank you, God.
Enjoy the pictures. And those of you who weren't able to join us, save the second weekend in June next year and we'll see you in West Virginia.
March 05 It was one of those days ...........I left for work at the regular time - actually, a few minutes early because I wanted to stop by the store on the way. But, when I saw the traffic lined up for the Baltimore-Washington Parkway, I forgot about the store. Traffic was barely moving and the line for the access ramp was almost a quarter of a mile long. So I passed them and headed for one of my alternative routes. Made it to the first traffic light and - nothing. Traffic was just sitting. So I tried another alternative - and then another. Parking lot after parking lot. Aaarrrrrgggggghhhh!!! Traffic was so light the past two days, and now this. It took me almost two hours to get to work.
I was overloaded w/updates for legal books. They come periodically - and you have to take the old pages out and put in the replacement pages. Not difficult, but it's easy to make a mistake if you don't pay attention. And then, on the most important book, the one my boss uses every day - it's her securities Bible - there was a huge chunk of the updates missing. They were listed, but were simply omitted from the replacement pages. Which means you have to track down another set, make copies, and put them in the book. Sounds simple, except the pages are an odd size which requires that each sheet has to be handled manually, turned over to just the right position on the copier, then cut down to size, and punch holes. A stupid, mindless task that is extremely time-consuing.
My associate lawyer screwed up the formatting in some weird kind of way on one of her documents, so I had to straighten that out. But it was late, so I took a short break and ran upstairs to the cafeteria to grab some lunch before they closed.
Ahhh . . . something going my way. It was Pasta Bar day and I've been dying for some spaghetti. I filled up my box, paid my bill and headed back to my office. I stepped onto the empty elevator . . . and the doors closed too quickly, striking my elbow and knocking the pasta out of my hands and all over the floor. I had to stand there and wait for someone to come and clean it up and, by that time, the cafeteria was closed.
No problem. I cleaned up the associate's document, finished the updates for the securities book, and headed across the street to grab a sandwich. "Sorry," the man said as I tried to enter the restaurant, "we're closing early."
Why did I stop and buy a lottery ticket? It so obviously isn't my lucky day!!!!!!!!!!
Hope yours was better ..............
February 26 When the swallows return to Capistrano. . .you know it's Spring. Every year, sometime around the 19th of March, swallows descend upon the Mission of San Juan Capistrano in California, returning from their winter refuge in Argentina, some 6,000 miles away. It is a definite milestone that announces the arrival of Spring.
Of course, there are a couple of problems with this announcement. We are no where near San Juan Capistrano, or even the mighty state of California. And most of us, quite honestly, wouldn't know a swallow if we saw one (unless it flashed it's international passport). We know eagles, robins, Cardinals, Blue Jays, sea gulls and, of course, pigeons. But swallows? Not a chance.
I guess we can point to the blossoming of the beautiful Cherry Blossoms but, let's face it, by the time those are here it's usually late March or early April, the sun shines more often than not as the weather' warms, and we're starting to think summer.
I spotted the first official DC sign of spring today, even though it's only February. The guaranteed landmark that hails the end of winter and the promise of warmer days ahead.
I saw a school tour crossing the street enmasse as I stopped at the traffic light. All wearing identical jackets, and flanked by a trio of harried-looking adults. Soon, the streets of DC will be overrun with bus loads of school tours - elementary school children, high school teenagers, Christian school refuges in their lookalike uniforms, all scrambling to learn the history of our goverment and the forefathers who founded it.
And to be first in line at the video games at ESPNZone.
They will be accompanied by a troop of adults scrambling to keep them all in sight, a look of tired confusion on their faces as they herd their group from Point A to Point B, even though they're not 100% sure they're headed in the right direction for Point B. Their eyes darting quickly to and fro as they search landmarks, scan their group quickly to make sure no one is missing, and try to watch the crowds around them to guarantee the safety of their chicks in the Big Bad City.
So forget the swallows, the Cherry Blossoms or whether or not the groundhog saw his shadow. Just listen for that high pitched squeal of children in our streets and restaurants.
Ahhhhh . . . Spring.
February 24 An empty life?????"This is what I do at stop lights," she said as she handed me a completed piece of needlepoint. I stared with puzzlement at the decoration in my hand, knowing that she drove herself to and from work each day.
"When you travel?" I inquired.
"No," she replied, "when I drive to work and back home again."
For just a second, I felt a sense of Wow, followed by a flash of guilt. I don't do anything at stop lights except wait. Okay, maybe singing along with the radio, but I do that when I drive, so I don't think that counts as a "worthwhile endeavor." Wow! I thought again - she really uses every second of her time.
And then I thought again. She works 10 to 12 hours a day, even bringing her lunch every day so that she doesn't have to leave her desk. And she can't even relax for the 20 to 30 seconds it takes a traffic light to change? Is being so driven to do something a lifestyle that I envy?
In all honesty - no.
When my son was small, one of our favorite games was "Pooh sticks." If you have children, then you've probably watched the Winnie the Pooh videos at some point in your life. In one, there's a scene where the characters play "Pooh sticks," a game they made up for their own entertainment. The rules are simple. You stand on a bridge over a small sream and, at the same time, you toss a stick into the flowing water below. Then, you run to the other side of the bridge to see whose stick emerges first. Wheeeee!
For a successful game of Pooh sticks, it is important that the sun be shining, the stream and bridge are in a quiet, country setting surrounded by trees, and that there are, preferably, rocks in the stream to create a lilting, gurgling sound as the water pours over them. You must feel all of these with every core of your being as you chat quietly with your child, listening to meaningless chatter and sincere confidences, and - the final ingredient - laughing hysterically at the occasional knock-knock joke.
My son is grown now and there are times that I feel as if I failed to adequately teach him many important things in life. But I hope that the one quality he absorbed was the importance of the peaceful places in one's life. For it is there that one discovers the value of the spirit - a pricesless quality that can't be found rushing from project to project.
Doing nothing isn't easy, and to learn to do it right is an important life skill. But be careful - the only person waiting for you there is yourself. Maybe that's why so many people avoid this place of peace.
Agape. February 23 You just can't be nice to some people ..........On the way home, I drive thru Chinatown in NW DC. Last night, the driver of a van beside me got my attention at a traffic light and asked for directions to a town that was several miles away, outside the DC Beltway. Knowing he would never find his way w/the limited directions I could give him at a stop light, I told him to follow me to the Beltway, and then he could go south a few miles to his destination.
We set off when the light turned green. I noticed a problem right away as he drove approximately 5 car lengths behind me - an impossible distance for me to monitor in city traffic. I kept slowing down until he was finally closer behind my car.
When I needed to change to the left lane for the upcoming left turn, I did so at least 6 blocks before the turn. The van didn't change lanes. I slowed down, put my car window down, waved my hand out the window, yelled, blew my horn, and the van never changed lanes and sailed right past me . . . with the driver talking on his cell phone!!! He was paying no more attention to me than the man in the moon!
I made my turn and continued on my way. I'm sure he drove around completely lost in the burbs for awhile. I wonder who he was following and how far he went before he realized it wasn't me!
Too bad there wasn't a police officer around - it's an automatic $100 fine in the District of Columbia for talking on a cell phone while driving. If anyone deserved a ticket, he did!
Wasn't it W.C. Fields who said, "No good deed goes unpunished"? This time, the punishment was not on me, but the lost van driver. February 06 Benign!!I stood in the foyer of my apartment building clutching my mail in my hand, trying to remember to breathe. I'd had a great overnight trip with one of my best friends, relaxing in the hills of western Maryland. On the previous Thursday, I had gone for my follow-up mammogram and was told it would be 7 to 9 days before the results were sent out. And yet, here it was. I stood there frozen, staring at the return address on the envelope. It had obviously been delivered the day before. What did it mean with a less than 48 hour turn-around time? Bad news . . . it could only be bad news.
Since mid-December, I had been fighting a terrible infection in once of my breasts. I had been to several doctors, receiving diagnoses from inflammatory breast cancer, a rare, progressive and fatal form of cancer, to nothing more alarming than an insect bite. I took antibiotics for weeks and, when I wasn't at work, was pretty much at home in bed sleeping. I was slowly regaining my energy, finally wasn't spending every day with sharp, continuous pain, and now this . . .
I slowly climbed the stairs to my apartment and braced myself for the bad news, mentally calculating and reforming my work schedule to accomodate chemo, radiation, whatever they told me I would need. I opened the envelope, and then re-read the report in shock.
Benign. Benign!!! Everything was completely clear!
Thank you, God.
It is definitely the Year of Fabulous!!!!!!!!!!! February 01 The Winter BluesWell, this winter has been interesting. I haven't suffered my typical "January Blues" as I usually do. I've had times in years past (not too far past, either) when I spent days literally wrapped in a blanket and barely moving, finding it difficult to even concentrate on a television show or to read a book.
Maybe this winter has been better because of some changes in my life. My son stayed with me until early last week, and we enjoyed some nice moments in the past few weeks watching DVDs of The West Wing (which I never watched when it was on-air) and last season's Heroes, which I gave him for Christmas. When I came home and realized he was watching it, I asked if he liked it. "It's a comic book come to life," he replied. "What's not to like!!!"
I've also chosen to drive to and from work this winter rather than take my usual commuter bus. As I work in downtown DC only a couple of blocks from that big White House and live in the Maryland suburbs, this was no small undertaking. Plus the fact that I pay more to park in the garage at my office that some people pay for their monthly rent in other parts of the country! But it's always dark when I leave work and, when I take the bus, I usually end up snoozing before we get back to the parking lot where my car is and that makes me sluggish and uninterested in doing anything else for the evening. This way, I get home faster, I have more control if traffic is bad (I can take alternative routes, or even stop and do something else while waiting for traffic to let up) and I don't have the pressure morning and evening of getting to the bus on time. I also have an extra 45 minutes plus at home in the mornings. Since I'm lazy, that's priceless!!
Maybe it's just that, after the recent health scare, I'm more appreciative of the little things of day-to-day life and not so quick to be self-critical.
For whatever the reason, I've reached the end of January without having a complete mental and emotional meltdown. And for that, I'm thankful.
February doesn't bother me so much, as I look forward to a birthday celebration mid-month. And I've lost enough friends over the years that I truly consider it a celebration.
The sun is shining today, and it's hard to believe it's not spring out there. But I'm patient enough this year to cheerfully wait until it is.
Hope your life is enjoying some spring joy . . . whatever form it takes. January 31 Goodbye . . . again!Well, I just got back from the train station where, yet again, I bid my son farewell. He's on his way to NYC, the Big Apple, for the next and, hopefully, best phase of his life. With his Master of Fine Arts degree in hand (so to speak), he is headed to Broadway.
Of course, he will have to stop by Olive Garden first and get that bartending/waiter job to keep food on the table and a roof over his head for awhile. And then he's headed to Beijing for about 8 weeks where he will be directing/teaching at the university. Hopefully, this summer, he will once again be at the Texas Shakespeare Festival for June and July and then back to Beijing with them for the entire month of August.
And then he'll be back in NYC in August. Whew!!! I think he's found the perfect career for his ADD!!! He no sooner starts getting bored w/one thing, then it's time to move on to something new.
It's a bitter-sweet feeling tonight. Glad to have my little apartment back to myself, but I miss the special connection we've shared in recent weeks. We may be only two, but we're a family.
In the grandest of theater traditions, I can't wish hiim well - that's bad luck. So I'll simply say, "Break a leg!"
And then pray he never does. December 01 Welcome New Friends! Happy Holidays, and Welcome to My New Friends!!
For the past 18 months, I've been writing here about things I saw, things I thought, things I felt. Since few people other than I ever saw it, it was almost like having my own personal, private diary. Almost, not quite. But in the past few days, several people have requested 'friend' status, and I am awed and humbled that others would be interested in my random thoughts and actions.
Many friends are from countries far away. But the more time I spend on this massive globe we know as the internet, the more I'm learning that no matter where our location, what our upbringing, culture or ethnic background, we are all creatures of curiosity, care and, yes, even fear. Our commonalities (is that really a word? Mitch, you're the journalist/word-smith here - let me know!) are numbered higher than our differences. So friends from far and near - welcome!
So, what does the picture above have to do w/all this. Nothing - it's just from my favorite movie of all time, the original "Miracle on 34th Street" where Santa is proven to the NYC court system to be 'real'. A movie of laughter, love and eternal hope.
So, during this holiday season, no matter how or where you celebrate it, may you have laughter, love and the flame of hope burning eternally in your heart.
with love,
Jean
PS - and I promose to learn more about the techniques and technologies so that I can make my page less boring for the future! November 01 November!?!?!?!!?!?I cannot believe it is the first of November. Where did summer go????!?!?!?! I can remember as a child how long it seemed from the beginning of the new school year (right after Labor Day weekend back in those long ago days) until the start of Christmas vacation. It took forevvvvvvvvverrrr to get here! Now, I blink, and time is gone. The mornings are darker, the falling leaves crackle, and the air is crisp. But I love it - it is my very favorite time of year. Crisp, clean air that seems to vibrate with the promise of change and discovery. Spring is nice, and for many people it is the season of choice as it represents growth and renewal. But, for me, the sharp, cool air of autumn has always been my favorite time. Maybe it's a holdover from my childhood school days when September brought a new school year and the chance to start over with a clean slate. While my grades were always great, I was never a social butterfly and I always vowed that this year . . . THIS year, it would be different. I would be bolder, not so shy, and the one with whom everyone wanted to be friends. Well, I never quite made that goal, but at least today my ears don't turn beet red when I have to speak to a stranger, or more than one person at a time! I have learned to be assertive when needed, at least professionally. It's still difficult to put myself out there when it's just me, for me, and I don't have a function to hide behind. But I'm learning. I'm even doing internet dating, which is the ultimate "out there" amongst strangers! I have, however, met some very nice people so the gamble has been worth it. Sometimes, the world's not such a scary place, after all. September 14 The Great Outdoors . . . Inside!Earlier this week I heard a cricket in my bathroom. Every time I left the room, he started singing.
And everytime I came back . . . he got quiet. No matter how long I waited, no matter how quietly I sat in the dark room, he wouldn't make a sound. I looked and looked . . . but couldn't find him anywhere.
Night before last, I was sitting in front of my computer - down the hall and around the corner from the bathroom - and realized he was now somewhere under the bookshelf beside my computer desk. It was late, I was tired . . . I left him there.
[Don't you love the way I make it sound like I made a conscious choice to leave him alone? It's not like I had a snowball's chance in hell of finding him, or anything!!!]
And then, it happened . . . .
At 3.45 a.m. this morning (that would be really early this morning) he suddenly started singing in my bedroom. Repeated attempts to locate him were in vain. Every time I turned the lights out and went back to bed . . .
chirp . . Chirp . . . CHIRP!!!!!!!!
I am sooooooooooooo tired. September 12 A new relationship . . . or just the same old thing!!!Well, my 26 year old son and I are well into our second week of co-habitation after a hiatus of 8 years and, so far, things are going well. I anticipated a lot of growing pains for both of us as we haven't lived together since he left high school and first went to college at age 18. Of course, maybe things are going so well because we never see each other! He's training to wait tables at an Olive Garden restaurant and works afternoons and evenings. I work during the day and am only home at night. And who knew training was so intense for waiting tables at a restaurant? He's putting in long hours, watching numerous training videos, trailing other wait persons for over a week, and even has written tests on the menus and drinks - amazing! I don't think I'll quite look at another wait person the same way again. I tell all our friends that when he gets his own tables we can start going there for dinner, but it will be an automatic 75% tip . . . after all, we have lots of student loans to pay! You think maybe that's why they're insisting we go to dinner at Bennigan's and Friday's instead?!!??!? <smile>
August 13 The challenges of the electronic ageHow did we ever exist without email? Without having a personal computer at home and available at our beck and call 24-7. We pay bills, monitor our finances, check multiple newspapers and other new media to find out what's happening in the world. We look at the weather in the morning before going to work to see if we need an umbrella . . . and then at 3 a.m. when we can't sleep and feel as if the weight of the world is on our shoulders, we check the weather on the beach in Tahiti where no one knows us and there are no cell phones or newspapers or computers and have fleeting thoughts of "Wouldn't it be nice..........????????"
But then reality sets in and we're back to our electronic lives, loving the we way we can reach out and touch (or be touched) in spite of lifestyles or distances, enjoying the "instant access" of information at our fingertips from around the world. And then . . . it happens.
Your screen starts flashing a weird blue color, as if someone has placed a sheet of gel paper over the screen. You hit escape - it doesn't stop. So you frantically start the 'shut down' sequence before something drastic happens.
As soon as you turn off your computer, you sit there praying frantically that, whatever "it" was doesn't turn out to be fatal error. Then, as you're praying, you see, laying on the front edge of your monitor, the brand new 4 gig flash drive you bought last week to back up your computer. Not only have you not used it yet - you were always going to do it "tomorrow" - it's still in it's original packaging. Now your stomach feels as if you've swallowed a 20-pound hockey puck.
Okay, I have no idea what it feels like to swallow a hockey puck. I've never even seen a hockey puck in real life - never been to a hockey game, never handled the equipment - but trying to swallow a 20-pound hockey puck sounds pretty painful to me! But, I digress . . .
I sit and wait patiently for a few minutes and turn the computer back on. No griding sounds, no whirring noises, nothing to cause alarm. The color boxes appear on the monitor and all looks good. And then, although the computer appears to be up and running, I see THAT message across my screen . . . "no signal."
NO SIGNAL!!!!!!!!!! But the light on the front of my computer is on -- I can see it! Please, please, oh, pleasssssssseeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing. My brand new, less than six-month-old computer has bitten the dust, given up the ghost, refuses to give me a signal. I try over, and over again . . . shut it down, power it off, turn it back on . . .
No signal
No signal
No signal
Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I finally admit defeat, unhook the computer from all of its various wires and plugs and the next morning take it down to my car on my way to work. It's an extremely busy week and I wasn't back in my neighborhood once during daylight hours. So I'd come home, glance at the empty corner on my desk, think of all the emails I was missing, all the jokes I could have been reading, all the games I could have been playing. I'm answering phone calls that begin "Why didn't you answer???????" and explain that I'm unconnected, out of the loop. It's a very long week.
Finally, I take the computer back to the store. They hook it up to diagnostics and, voila! Full access - no problem.
The computer tech explains that it may be my monitor and I should bring it in to be checked. So back home I go and unplug the power cord from the monitor and then reach for the cord that goes from the monitor to the computer . . .
Why is there no other cord attached to my monitor?
Light dawns and, feeling extremely stupid and very hopeful, I carefully hook all the cords back up to my computer AND my monitor.
Holding my breath, I turn the computer back on and . . . there it is!!! I'm saved!!!! Now, all I have to do is back-up all my files to my new flash drive so that if I have a problem in the future, I'll at least have all my files. But it's late, and I'm tired . . .
I'll do it tomorrow.
July 28 A good kind of day ................Today was one of those - no special agenda, nothing requiring my time and attention, no one expecting me to be anywhere. And the sky was blue and bright and the sun was shining. I felt like a kid on the first day of summer!
I have a friend that I've known for over 30 years. We laugh sometimes and wonder out loud why we're friends - we have nothing in common and don't like any of the same kind of things at all. Our points of view on general things - politics, religion, basic fun things to do - are lightyears apart. He likes science fiction, I like silly comedies. He's a staunch life-long member of a very conservative church - my church is considered a "reconciling" congregation and has as liberal a point of view as possible. He pretty much eats only meat and potatoes, nothing exotic - I like to try different places and different things. And on and on.
But we had brunch at Bob Evans this morning and drove around and explored a new shopping center. It was a great time and I remember why we've remained friends for so many years.
He's an attractive, charming man - never married and has no dependents. Has worked for the local school system for 30 years and most of his money just sits in the bank. This is his last year, and then he's retiring and moving to Montana to be close to his brothers and build his dream house.
I realized today that, as aggravated as he makes sometimes, I will miss him a lot when he's gone. Too bad there's never been a second of romance between us. But he's like a brother - irritating, charming, sweet, frustrating, and caring. His absence will leave a big hole in my life.
But today - today we filled each other's life with laughter, good food, and fun.
June 22 Turning summer on its ear . . .It's certainly an interesting summer at my house! My usually quiet, staid existence has been turned on its side this year. My friend's 22-year old son recently graduated from college (summa cum laude, no less!) and earned an internship with the American Red Cross this summer. So he's staying w/me while he works in downtown DC.
We've been to the American Museum of Natural History, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial and the World War II Memorial. We've driven past "The Awakening" (the giant sleeping statue at Hains Point), and picniced on a park bench there while scoping out the boats at Washington Marina - now he wants a houseboat to live on if he gets a full time job near the water!
We've driven past the new Air Force memorial and the Pentagon, and had dinner in Chinatown.
I made it halfway through the Holocaust Memorial Museum before admitting that my bruised psyche couldn't take anymore and left him to wander through the rest while I took refuge in my car and read my Sunday paper.
Last night, we drove over the C&O Canal, walked down to the Potomac River in Georgetown at Washington Harbor and dined at one of the "in" spots on the main drag.
Next weekend he has a date for touring the Spy Museum and the Air and Space Museum at the Mall. But then his mom comes to town for the weekend before July 4th. We'll be playing at the Smithsonian's Folk Life Festival on the Mall and watching the July 4 show rehearsal in front of the Capital. Not to mention all the food during and between everything else!
The best part is that, rather than being exhausted from all this activity, I'm having a great time! I guess it was time someone shook up my boring, routine lifestyle.
So I'm planning trips to the new Air and Space Museum at Dulles (where they have all the big planes), a tour of the National Geographic Museum, lunch in Old Town Alexandria, and introducing him to the Maryland Renaissance Festival this fall - because I have every faith that this young man will be snatched up quickly by some enterprising employer in the area.
Don't look for me at home this summer - I'm too busy playing tourist!!
June 18 Bibbity Bobbity BOO!!!Remember that line from the Cinderella movie so many years ago? Okay, like you, I wasn't actually there in the theater, but we've all seen it countless times on television and video! "It'll do magic, believe it or not .........."
So why aren't kids encouraged - or even allowed - to believe in magic any more? They can 'pretend' to be all kinds of different, weird, even violent characters thanks to the wonder of video games, but that's not the same thing. Believing in "magic" is the ability to suspend reality and open yourself to the infinite possibilities of the universe, knowing that just because you can't see it, feel it or do it doesn't mean it isn't possible.
Imagination - a world that includes friends like Peter Pan, Tinkerbell and Santa Claus! Why is giving children magic in their lives such a horrible thing today? I can't tell you the number of times otherwise reasonable adults have said to me, "No, my child doesn't believe in Santa Clause." And then the reasons begin: "Because I don't want him/her disappointed," or "'Santa' and 'Satan' are only one letter apart." Yeah, that makes them soooo similar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My ex- and I separated when my son was barely three years old. I still remember him calling after we'd been separated for about 3 months. He laughingly informed me that our son thought I was magic. I replied, "Yes, I know."
"No, no," he said, "he really thinks you're magic."
"Yes," I calmly responded, "I know."
After we went back and forth w/this a couple of times, he got really frustrated and seriously said, "Jean, I don't think you understand - he really believes that you have magical powers!"
"Yes," I emphatically stated, "I know!"
"Why would he think such a thing," my ex- exploded over the phone. And, before he had a chance to say anything else, I informed him, "Because I told him I did!"
And then I calmly continued, "And you are not to do or say anything to convince him otherwise."
I told him that I was sorry his parents didn't give him any magic in his life when he was a child, but that I considered it an important part of childhood and he was NOT to take it away from my son.
So my son continued to believe for many years that mom could change traffic lights by blowing at them, among many other magical talents!
Is it any wonder that at age 25 he still believes he can learn to fly like Superman?
I see all the Harry Potter references in the media and I think that maybe, just maybe, there's hope after all. Thanks, Ms. Rowling, for helping to keep our imaginations flourishing, and the mysteries of magic alive for new generations.
March 03 "This Relationship Has Been Permanently Deleted. . . "I'd forgotten the message was there, hanging out in cell phone cyberspace. Okay, I guess I couldn't have really forgotten it - after all, I've been re-setting it to "save" for months. That one last cell phone voicemail. Knowing that it was the last one, and that I would probably never hear from him again. And, no, I don't really want to hear from him again. But every time I heard that voice in my ear, I would automatically re-set it to save . . . just for a little while longer. I've deleted him from my contact list in email, from my address book in my cell phone. No accidental emails, no by mistake phone calls. And now, no more echo in my ear.
It was time. I was ready.
It was past time. I am more than ready.
So why do I feel so sad? February 23 Did Meredith live.....?????????????????Last year as I sat in church and listened to the minister talk about lenten sacrifices, I contemplated my history with giving up something I loved for Lent. It wasn't a practice that was taught in the country Methodist church of my youth so I don't have a long, strong history with "doing without" during Lent. Okay, I don't have a strong history of sacrifice and rarely "do without" at any other time of the year, either . . . I'm rather self-indulgent, if you must know.
But last year, the minister talked about giving up watching comedy sit-coms, something he really enjoyed -- mindless entertainment at the end of a stressful day. That really struck a chord with me. I love television - and sometimes it seems that the more mindless and wasteful, the better. My job in a law firm is stressful, the hours are long, and commuting in and out of the city for over an hour each way makes my days long, long, loooooooonnnnnnngg. So what do I do to relieve all that stress and rest my brain? Plop down in front of the television and let the laughs and the silliness ease my mind.
After listening to the sermon, I decided to give up television for Lent. Wait, God . . . did I really say that? Television? ALL of television? Does that include That 70's Show, Boston Legal and all those Friends reruns? Surely, it doesn't include Seventh Heaven? That show is about a minister and his family. Surely that doesn't count as just "television!"
Silence. As my conscience searched my soul for some respite from the hasty bargain I had just made, that's all I heard from God. Just silence. No laughing that He knew I didn't really mean it and that I didn't have to give up all television, just The Nature Channel. Okay, okay, I know I never watch it . . . that's why it's so easy to do without.
So I continued my inner struggle with my conscience as I debated with an ever-silent Almighty. Yes, I know I am looking for a way to strengthen my relationship with you, to center myself more spiritually in a world that whirls faster and faster every day. I know the sacrifices that You have made for me are far greater, and the blessings with which you have enriched my life are so much better than just television, but ...................
And I realized there was no "but." No additional argument, or rationalization for myself. If I was serious about becoming a more spiritually focused person, television had to go. So I did it last year - no television during Lent. The first week was tough; television is a very hard habit to break. But I found no problem filling the hours each evening and reached the point that I even enjoyed my quiet time at home.
Even when Lent was over, I didn't return to full television addiction. I didn't give it up, but I found it easier to reach for the "off" button on a more regular basis.
This year, it was an easy choice. I find myself looking forward to the time to work on my home, myself, my spirit. Sometimes in this busy, busy world, it's hard to find quiet time with God. And sometimes, it's as easy as the click of a button.
Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy will just have to wait for summer reruns - even if Meredith did drown during sweeps-week. I'll find out what happened in the spring.
February 21 The Unexpected Rapid Weight Loss ProgramSo for the past umpteen zillion years it seems like I have steadily put on 10 pounds each year until I feel as if I am only a cheeseburger away from a heart attach and the piano-crate coffin. My sedentary job and extremely lazy lifestyle have certainly contributed to this annual growth, and I JUST CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!
It feels as if I have tried every weight-loss solution on the planet, except for surgery which is not on my horizon. And then I saw one on a shopping channel which said they would ship a month's supply of food right to my door. Okay, that certainly fits my lazy lifestyle requirement - no shopping, no cooking, no thinking about food preparation in any way, shape or form. It seemed a little expensive, but not too much when compared to the amount I waste each month eating on the run. So I went online, whipped out my credit card and, while I was hanging around over the holiday, the delivery truck showed up a week early and left a large carton on my doorstop.
Okay, I can do this. So I got out four plastic grocery bags, sorted out breakfasts and lunches for the remaining four work days, and set them by the door, ready to go. Yesterday morning, I grabbed my first bag and headed out the door.
But I had to drive downtown instead of taking my usual commuter bus because I had an evening meeting and I was really hungry . . . okay, so one more MickeyD's trip won't hurt and then that will really be the end. And I only ate half my biscuit, so that was good. Right?
Lunch was a nutritious, not-too-untasty chicken and noodles combo. Not bad.
Mid-afternoon brought on a sleep attack so bad I felt as if I were going to die. A little sugar to wake me up . . . and halfway through the candy bar I remembered my new eating program. Oops! Oh, well, might as well go ahead and finish the whole thing.
Went to my evening meeting and got home about 10:15 p.m. and when I opened the refrigerator I saw the leftover pasta and salad from a weekend restaurant dinner. No sense in wasting that, and the whole day has been a waste anyway, so..............................
But Wednesday is a new day and my bag is packed and ready to go. Don't even have to think about it, just get up, get dressed, and head out the door.
Halfway downtown on the bus, I realize my lunch bags are still sitting in the apartment, right by the front door.
Yeah, this program is working great. My bank account is lighter already. February 20 Birthdays . . . Celebration or Depression?So the weekend brought another birthday my way. I don't mind my birthdays even though they now number 50+. I have some friends who go into a major depression every time another birthday comes around. But I've lost enough friends in the past few years that I joyfully celebrate each birthday and acknowledge it for the landmark it is. A time to celebrate life, evaluate your mistakes for the lessons they can teach you, and cheerfully embrace whatever the future may bring.
However, a few years ago I decided that being my age and acknowledging my age were two different things. I just couldn't seem to make my tongue wrap around it. "I'm fif................." was as far as I could get. And I'm not one of those people who wants to try and lie convincingly about my age, saying I'm 5 or even 10 years younger than I am. No, if I'm going to do it, I'm going for the gold. I mean, age is a matter of mind-set and spirit, right? My family's motto is, "Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional!"
So I took a close look at my life and decided that my 26th year was a pretty good one . . . that I would just repeat it. It worked so well and I had such a good time all year, I did it again for the next couple of birthdays. My son (who was 24 at the time) informed me last winter that it was probably time to re-think the whole 26yo issue or he would soon be dating women older than me. I told him Mommy didn't mind, as long as she could date men younger than him!
But this year, my spirit's just now feeling the 26 thing. I gave it some thought over the weekend and, after carefully examining my spirit, I think I'll try 32 for awhile.
I'll let you know how it goes. |
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